<$BlogRSDURL$> The Truth About David
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
The Truth About David
Thursday, January 20

Used to be

I had another blog before this one. I had regular readers and nifty links and add-ons.

It was comfortable. Safe.

Now it's just me and my thoughts. Just like it was supposed to be when I first started bloging. So I should be fine with it. It should be me and the words. No distractions to lure me away from the truth. It should be this way but it's not.

It's not OK.

When I come to write I pause. I freeze up and loose focus. I forget the lines of text that crowd my daily life. Things become blurry and far off. What wad once a cohesive symmetry of daily understanding becomes a sloppy jumble of mush.

And that sucks.

So I sit and brood. Stewing in the after image of what I gave up. The hot glow of my frustration reflecting my sour attitude as watch my irritations aggrandizing in the background.

And that really sucks.



The truth is: all I can do is write. Just write. The rest will sort itself out.


thrown together by
David Lee I Be around 9:08 PM
link |

|
Monday, January 17

Welcome to borderline

Population: me.

It's that feeling, like mist, hovering around my intentions. Dark and frustrated. Angry. Bored. It's the endless questions to which the answers are already known. My bloated patience about to burst with the next inquiry. It's all the little defeats. The dirty looks and careless solutions. This is weight I grow tired of bearing. It's become a rock to which my hopeful aspirations are chained to.

The bind is a grind I cannot escape.

So now I wait. I clamor to the hope of returning to me of old. Young me, with easy laugh and serious plan. The me who knew what was what and how to live. Yes, I wait. Amid the daily irritations and internal debates.

Amid this horrid pain.

It's all the same with these eyes. All fixed and unrelated. It's gray on top of grey. Needing to be sorted out. Different from what was and unreached but used to be. The paradigm of discontent.

I was never this way.

But things move along. Change, though necessary, is often bothersome and clumsy. For me, that is. So I will bemoan and lament these torturous days, but not concede to them my waning disposition.

At least, for now, I'll try.


I'll try...


thrown together by
David Lee I Be around 1:41 PM
link |

|
Designed by mela