My rules were once her rules.

Easy to understand and hard to swallow: here, in my place, I say what goes. So simple, so brutally straight forward; I've tried to live my life another way to no avail. My ways are fluid and mutable when not in here. My mind is open and flexible, when not in here.

No, because in here I am responsible, so I am in charge.

Those who know best know that democracy, save the basics, ends after my threshold. Those who know me wouldn't dare suggest anything to the contray of the rules I lay down in here. Wouldn't think to challenge how I do things. They know I would not, in a million years, try to come into their home and dictate.

They have accepted that I'm stuck in my ways.

I often think of how that respect may contribute to my stubbornness in this area of my life. I wonder if the value of knowing they respect this facet of my personality has helped me to feel secure and composed or made me that much more harsh in maintaining my standards.

And harsh I've most certainly become.

I will allow no one to undermine me in this place. Cross my boundaries or break my rules and you're history. Finished when it comes to being here. Anyone can get it. Too many people have been allowed too many chances to get over on me. I said that once I got here I wasn't going to let anyone dictate what happens within these humble walls.

And I will not.

And I suspect this will cost me. Either now or in the future I will pay. But that is life. It has it's cost. Peace of mind comes to different people in many means, by varied methods. I can't apologize for mine only try to own up to it and minimize the fallout.

Damage control people, damage control.




_{It's what I do}

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